


Coming Clean

by thisisashittyusername



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Coming Out, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, ford + wendy, just focuses more on wendy and soos' reaction, not them confessing, soos + stan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 07:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11099994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisashittyusername/pseuds/thisisashittyusername
Summary: Stan and Ford tell Wendy and Soos about their relationship. They don't react like they'd expected.





	1. oh no

When Stan and Ford tell Soos and Wendy, they're not met with the enthusiasm (or verbalized confusion / anger) they expected.

Somehow, it's much worse.

"Uh, sorry, Mister Pines," Soos says, his eyes squinting a little. He points to the living room door, inching slowly toward it. "I have to go... fix... things."  
he disappears.

"Yeah," Wendy makes her own excuse, smiling a little forced. "Uh... I also have to go... check the cou- _check the counter_!"

She leaves the brothers standing by the cipher rug.

 

"This did not go as planned," Stan grumbled.

"Thank heavens we decided to tell them before the kids," Ford says, worriedly running a hand by the back of his neck. "I could only imagine what would've happened..."

"Hey," Stan tells him, patting the small of Ford's back when he sees his brother's frown. "Chin up, Sixer."

When his brother doesn't budge, Stan pulls Ford toward him. "When did we ever let others tell us what to do?" Ford looks at him, and Stan just smiles reassuringly. "At the end of the day, if things stay as bad as they are? It doesn't matter. As long as we're together."

Ford sighs, but feels a smile of his own come. "Okay, Stanley. I trust you."

 

"So," Stan coughs, after a few beats. He parts from Ford reluctantly. "I can go to Wendy- talk to her about it, _man-to-man_. Y'know. Soos is pretty soft, and I'm no good with handling things carefully." Stan starts to walk toward Wendy, but Ford stops him.

"I think we should do it the other way around," Ford suggests. "Soos values your relationship very much- he sees you almost like a father figure. I think it would be better if you talked to him."

"And Wendy?"

A wince. "I think I can take care of that."

"And if she talks shit about your sweater again?"

"I know where she gets her attitude from," Ford tells him. "If I can handle its source, I can handle her."

 

Stan scoffs. "You can't handle me."

"Oh, please."

Stan only laughs.

"I love you, Poindexter," he says, when he hugs Ford again.

"'Love you too, knucklehead," Ford calls out when Stan leaves.


	2. soos

Stan finds Soos in Ford's old room. Well, actually, _their_ room. It functioned as Soos' break room during the Shack's working hours, but as Ford's bedroom at night. It used to be dirty- lined with used bags of chips and empty cans of Pitt Cola (like a real man's own space!), all thanks to Soos- but he cleaned up after Stan told them the truth (that Ford owned the place and all that junk). Even without Ford asking. (Ford told him all about it, after the brothers had settled their differences. "I'm thankful that _Zeus_ kid was sensitive enough. It saved me the trouble of asking. I appreciate it," Ford had said. Stan only looked up from his Pitt Cola. "It's  _Soos._ " "Oh?") Thankfully, Soos was a very considerate 'roommate' to Ford. If he could call it that. 

"Uh, hey, Soos," Stan starts. He lingers by the doorway.

Soos doesn't answer.

Stan sighs. "Look, pal, I'm sorry you had to hear what you just did," he lets himself mumble, not even waiting for Soos to turn around and face him. He had to get this off his chest. "I... well, _we_... thought it was a good idea to tell you and Wendy, and-"

Stan sighs again. This was... emotionally draining. "I guess it wasn't. Look, I get it if you don't want to work here anymore. It's weird, and it's not normal, and- hell, I think we all just tolerate the _woodpecker-man matrimony_ thing in Gravity Falls- don't get me started with McGucket's _raccoon wife_ -" he shivers. "You just don't have to tolerate one more weird thing that you don't want to-"

Soos turns to him, finally. He has a box in his arms and he looks shocked to see him there. "Mister Pines? How long have you been standing there?"

Stan looks at the box. It's open, and it's full of papers. On the side facing Stan, the box has a label written in blue marker, 'STAN FICTION'.

 

"...What'ya got there?" Stan can't help but ask.

"I told you, Mister Pines," Soos smiles, and lays his box down the couch. "I was going to fix this."

Soos grabs a few papers from the pile and shows Stan some drawings. "I was thinking, maybe I can make you 'Stan the Superior'," he says, as he shows a picture of Stan photoshopped with amped-up muscles. He has a fur coat on him, like they did in Game of Thrones, and an eight ball staff, with the eight ball shaped like a spearhead. "He's a barbarian who somehow _wins the heart of 'Princess Unattainabelle'_." Soos shows another picture of a person in a red, flowing dress. It looks a lot like him. The person is seated on a white marble ledge, beside a roman pillar with vines around it. " _And America!_ " Soos flashes Stan a drawing of a bald eagle with anime sugoi eyes, the American flag behind it.

 

Stan is unable to absorb all that. "Princess Unattainabelle? Wh-"

"That's Mister Pines!" Soos supplies. "...Well. Mister Pines number two."

"Ford?" Stan sputters. The dude in the dress?

"Yes!"

"Wait, kid," Stan says, a hand quickly pressing on the bridge of his nose. "I don't-"

"-and they'd go get married, by the beach. And there'll be some crabs, but also like- _a big ol' monster!_ it's time-" Soos lets go of the papers, and they fall to the floor. He has his hands up in the air like he's envisioning it happening in front of him.

"Soos-"

"He's also come to devour all our cakes for the wedding reception? But Stanford would dig into the bottom of his dress- or inside the inner pocket of his white dress coat, whichever he wants to wear in the wedding- and pull out a phantom crystal of... _infinity_."

"So-"

"-or something. it's definitely white- that part i'm sure of, _it matches the wedding theme color_ -"

"Soos!" Stan calls out, and shakes Soos' shoulders.

 

"Did I miss something?" Soos finally looks at him, expectantly.

"What?" Stan says, for the fortieth time today. His eyes are wide with confusion.

"Did I miss something important? In my Stan Fiction?"

"No, I-" Stan shakes his head. "Wedding? What is this? Who's Princess Unattainabelle?" he squints. "Why was everything _white_?"

"It's your wedding!" Soos just says. "With Stanford."

 

"I-" Stan starts to apologize, but realizes what Soos just said. "Wait. You're not... grossed out? Or leaving?"

"Why would I?" Soos asks.

"Do I have to spell it out for you, kid? Because it's- _it's gross_! it's weird!"

 

Saying it out loud makes Stan wince himself, remembering everything Crampelter's had to say about the twins, back in the 50's. Or the school counselor. Or their _own father_. "It's wrong, it's 'immoral', it-"

"-it makes you happy, doesn't it?"

Stan stops. "What?"

"It makes you happy? And, Mister Pines 2, too?"

Stan sputters again. "Yeah, but-"

 

Soos walks up to Stan when Stan says nothing more. "I'm happy that it makes you happy, Mister Pines," he says, and puts a hand on Stan's shoulder. "I think you have a lot of issues about it, but if it makes the both of you happy, then that's all that matters."

When Stan looks at Soos, the handyman's smiling at him. Not maliciously, or whatever- not like the sneers he'd endured years ago.

 

Stan absolutely, does not start sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, Soos' Stan Fiction here was an edited version of his [real Stan Fiction](http://gravityfalls.wikia.com/wiki/Soos%27_Stan_Fiction?file=Gravity_Falls_-_Soos%27_Fan_Fiction_1).


End file.
